I’m doing Santa’s dirty work
I’m quite lucky to be married to a saint of a woman who’s willing to do some most the vast majority of 99 percent of the heavy lifting when it comes to Christmas. I just sit back and write the checks.
I get home from work Christmas Eve night, and Mrs. Communist is pretty much crashed on the couch, exhausted from the weeks of planning, shopping and wrapping involved with Christmas. As she gets up to go to bed, she motions to a box on the floor and says, “I didn’t have time to put this together,” which is code for “You’d better take care of this, asswipe.”
Well… time to do my 1 percent.
Much to my chagrin, I learn that what I have to put together is yet another place for Barbie and her stupid friends to hang out: The City Pretty™ Townhouse and Dolls Gift Set. For years, I’ve raged against the Barbie machine (apologies to Manx), and looking over the box, I find another reason to loathe the Barbie cult:
First, it’s the unhealthy body image that the dolls promote. Now Mattel apparently is trying to further condition little girls to prepare for a life of servitude: “What a great kitchen! Because that’s all you’re good for: cooking and squeezing out bellyfruit!”
But I learned long ago that my fight against Barbie is one I’m not going to win. Apparently, girls like to play with Barbies. I’m guessing that’s how they get the cooties.
Thankfully, assembly was limited to snapping a few plastic pieces into place. The real effort, though was in sticking on the approximately 782 decals. I’m not exactly Johnny McFinemotorskills to begin with, and I’m sure the beer didn’t help matters any.
But I managed to get them all stuck on in the right spots, and none seems to be egregiously crooked:
Well, I’ve done my part this Christmas. Time to crack open another beer before bed.
