Anonymous Communist

Today is Cardinal great Willie McGee’s birthday. In honor of this momentous occasion, I bring you another edition of the Cool Band Names list.

Antique Olive
Bundle of Stuff
Cuban Glasnost
Fart in a Spacesuit
Ghetto Buffer
Ironic Ringtone
Meat-Related Article
Paperback Sniper
Radar Envy
Sharkbark
Suicide Pirates
Transitional Problem
World of Pigeons

Hey, everyone! It’s Tito Jackson’s birthday, which means it’s time for another edition of the cool band names list. As always, feel free to submit your own.

Angry White God
Body in the Lake
Civic Doodie
Dismembered Cats
Fired State Workers
Golden Moments
Irish Sneeze
Luxury Liquor
MySpace Mafia
Pizza Cracker
Residual Spam
Shinzo Abe
Striper Twin
Tofu Magic

In honor of baseball’s impending postseason, I welcome you to the Anniversary of the First Modern World Series edition of the cool band names list. The compilation of the list is a group effort, and contributors’ efforts cannot be understated. So can you work for me Sunday, Your Neighbor?

Amused Hoosier
Brain Champion
Cross-bred Cobras
Fashionably Dead
Ginormous Bubble
Jean Tuxedo
Mexican Invaders
Personal Bitch
Rescued Embryos
Slot Monkey
Tastes Like Jesus
Uranium Boom
Wolf Popper

Greetings, all, and welcome to the NFL birthday edition of the Cool Band Names list. Go Decatur Staleys!

American Haggis
Box of Shimkus
Craptastic Elmo
Extensive Offensive
Genuinely Touched
Irish Poontang
Meat Goat
Nutstache
Projectile Poo
Secular Martyr
Stifled Shiver
Touchdown Jesus
White Menace

It’s the first of the month… get up get up for the Labor Day edition of the Cool Band Names list. I’d like to extend a hearty Anonymous Communist welcome to visitors from Google searching for “cool band names.” You make up fully half or more of my daily visits. Cheers!

Allergen Trifecta
Boob Cake
Cough Drop Cookies
Electronic Urges
The Gay Cheneys
Indigenous Nudity
Manufactured Hipness
Not Very Scientific
Priestly Misconduct
Scalded Toddler
Stale Ashtray
Three Pregnant Teens
Virgin Dragon

It’s time for another installment of the Cool Band Names list. None of these names, however, are of bands playing at this year’s Illinois State Fair. Their loss.

Alleged Wife
Blurry Non-friends
Clarified Second Graph
Disrupted Scar Tissue
Fish Virus
Greased Sheik
Ironic Nihilist
Matrix of Qualifications
Niche Pork
Pot-laden City Workers
The Royal We
Slutburger
Tainted Buns
Tunageddon

Welcome to the How-The-Eff-Is-It-Already-August edition of the Cool Band Names list. Seriously, school starts in like three weeks, and then I’ll be back to the four-hours-of-sleep-a-night grind. Funk dat. Oh well… here’s the damn list:

Al-Qongress
Bionic Doritos
Citrus Disaster
Dirty Power
Finished with Pants
Gnat Assault
Irish Wop
Marauding Sea Lions
Nervous Licker
Pockets of Spiciness
Rodeo Virgin
Shower Pocket
Superfluous Apostrophe
Toxic Wood
White-Trash Racist

It’s time once again for another edition of the Cool Band Names list, this time dedicated to our hardworking governor. Those three hour days must be exhausting, brother.

Accidental President
Blunt Force Trauma
Clique of Lesbians
Dutch Funyuns
Gaping Neck Wound
Intense Mayonnaise
Man Purse
Noisy Yard Things
Private Iditarod
Serious Whiteness
Stranded Cattle
Tortured Horses
Wheelchair Dad

Where has the summer gone? It’s already the Fourth of July! Let’s celebrate our country’s awesomeness with another Cool Band Names list!

Avoiding Asylum
Canned Spam
Dawg Pyle
Eight-Cylinder Teenage Mating Dance
Gay Faith
Herd Immunity
Jack Clark’s Nachos
Leftover Babies
Midnight Fisticuffs
Obscene Acts with Girls
Proactive Paradigm
Rodent Tooth
Secondhand Noise
Stolen Pizza
Uppity Broads

Welcome to the Sangamon County Fair edition of the Cool Band Names list. Or is it the post-Flag-Day-mayhem edition?

Automatic Shrek
Concluding Sentence
Dirty Soap
Fiscal Viagra
Golden Pork Loins
Ironic T-shirt
Malicious Militias
Naturally Freaky
Popcorn Lung
Rock Machine
Shadow Flicker
Sweet Canadian Mullet

As the calendar brings the aid check, so does the Cool Band Names list arrive. As always, many thanks must go to my colleagues, whose help is invaluable in compiling the list.

Ass Burger
Chopstick Forks
Dirtbag Son
Fine Young Shriners
Glowing Chickens
In It for the Money
Love Panda
Muslim Fury
Polish Menace
Railway Screams
Slender Fungus
Time for Terrorism

Some of you might remember a since-departed blog that every couple of weeks featured a list of a dozen or so cool band names.

Well, that blog is still gone, but I am reviving the popular and unspeakably awesome Cool Band Names list. I have been told to add some sort of caveat about how the list was a collaborative effort among colleagues. So there you go.

Armed Attack
Commercial Devastation
Drive-by Shiv
Fucked-Up Duck
Horsebomb
Leap Year Screams
Millionaire Frightful Men
Phonebook Burritos
Resurgent Beavers
Solo Monkey
T-shirt Village
Vaguely Asian