Everybody’s mad at the oil companies these days, so welcome to the Breakup of the Standard Oil monopoly edition of the cool band names list. Reader submissions always are welcome.
Bigoted Tinkerbell
Charismatic Terrorists
Democratic Yoda
The Eco-Chicks
Favorite Jason
Grilled Peaches
Jar Full of Vomit
Meat Thief
Paranoid Misanthropy
Racist Corn Pops
Sadistic Genie
Spunky Nun
Hello and welcome to the bitchin’ storm front edition of the Cool Band Names list. The current master list is close to running out, but fear not, dear readers. There’s a new list bursting with hundreds more names ready to bore and offend!
Big Steaming Pile
Chafed Taint
Decadent Culture
Fast Cow
Ghetto Fabulous
Invisible Sun, Invisible Sons (Police tribute band)
Love Rhombus
Mystery Doritos
Ph.D in Porn
Registered Pleasure
Shattered Rat
Stingray Barb
Undeserved Unhappiness
Unlimited Doohickies
I guess I’ve decided against going weekly with the Cool Band Names list; I have a hard enough time remembering to do it biweekly. Anyway, here’s the Jackie Robinson Day edition of the Cool Band Names list. And if you think you’re forgetting something, here’s a reminder:
Big Bag of Suck
Cast-iron Tank
Dead Wops
Extraneous Cockpit Conversation
Germ Dots
Important Porn
Lame and WASPy
Monumental Doofus
Personal Blimp
Racist Marshmallows
Secondhand Fat
Sodomy Protest
Terminally White
Unprocessed Jelly
Welcome, everyone to The Girl’s Birthday/Falklands War Lidlifter edition of the Cool Band Names list. As always, submissions are welcome, as are fictional bios.
Beef Turkey
California Mountain Snake
Dead Tongues
Endangered Aliens
The Gay Conspiracy
Impaled Delicacies
Kevlar Cow
Mildly Dirty
Paranoid Feline
Prominent Elected Officials
Roster of the Damned
Smoking Tornadoes
Tainted Spinach
Tingling Lips
Heh… looks like I neglected to post the latest edition of the Cool Band Names list in a timely fashion. The badness is all mine.
An A.C. reader has suggested that I possibly make the Cool Band Names list a weekly feature. So I put it to the infinite wisdom of the proletariat: Do you fools want fewer band names on a weekly basis or more band names biweekly (which actually wouldn’t change anything), give or take a few days. Um, question mark.
Batstache
Cell Phone Slaves
Ditching Coulter
Fetish of Yahweh
Fortified with Sacraments
Imperial Cucumber
Lazy Man’s Margarine
Mutilated Muffin
Poisoned Former Spy
Satchel Charge
Secular Cookies
Spunky Mammals
Thermal Runaway
Venting With Flame
It’s time for another installment of the Cool Band Names list, this time the middle-finger-to-February edition. The current list is getting ever smaller, but fear not, because the working list is bursting at the seams, ready for use.
Back-to-Back Spiciness
Cannibal Catholics
Death Chair
Fatigued Groin
Great Glue
Ironic Martyrs
Matches and Gasoline
Nuclear Obama
Prison Cats
Satanic Canine
Southdown Sheep Show
The Carpet Nosers
Urban Vermin
Waiting for Greatness
In falling off posting here recently, I’d neglected to put up the regularly scheduled Cool Band Names list. Regular posting will resume with the City of St. Louis birthday edition of the CBNL. As always, feel free to add your own or submit a little fan fiction for a particular band.
Back-to-back Amys
Calculated Snub
Cross of Convenience
Electrical Foundation
Fur Thermos
Idiot Box
Kenny Rogers’ Thumb
Metaphoric Tick
Pangea
Povse and the Corrections
Sacred Germs
Smidgen of Sanity
Tainted Scallions
Toxic Tap Water
It’s Wikipedia’s birthday today, and my gift to the one true, unimpeachable source for information is another edition of the Cool Band Names list. As always, feel free to submit your own.
Awkward Scruff
Burning Manure
Craploads of Space
Dull Purple
Freak Pea
Hunting for Head Lice
Katrina Embryo
Mechanical Butthole
Palatial Bathrooms
Positive Goo
Roving Bugs
Slum Militia
Suburban Violence
Toxic Syrup
Vinyl Grandpa
What better way to ring in the new year than with another edition of the Cool Band Names list! Plus, it’s Grandmaster Flash’s birthday. Word up with that.
Awkward Pause
Busted Deadline
Dead Chihuahua Weapon
Excessive Hare
Generic Macaws
Indeterminate Funk
Living Cemetery
Multiple Beefy Dudes
Pillows of Ham
Restless Turkey
Shoes for Cyclones
Symbol of Whiteness
Trash Thieves
Weekend Tornado Package
In commemoration of the golden Cool Band Names list (No. 15 on the 15th), the Onion A.V. Club published its list of the worst band names of 2007. Some of them would make excellent Cool Band Names, except they’re names of actual bands.
Audible Thud
BOHICA
Corporate Pizza
Douchebag Boyfriend
Flaming Space Matter
Hero Aftermath
Jesus Horses
Meat Hunk
New York Rats
Pneumatic Blonde
Robochick
Silhouette Sidekick
Strange G
Tug the Mustache
It’s been exactly a year since the big icestorm/snowstorm of, uh, a year ago. In a freaky coincidence, we may be getting freezing rain as you read this.
In commemoration, here is another edition of the cool band names list.
Atomic Fizzle
The Borf Mourners
Corporate Sugar
Drunken Russians
The Fucking Muskrats
Illicit High School Memories
Kitty Guillotine
Million-Dollar Trailers
Permanent Condom
Radical Raptors
Series of Slayings
Steeple People
Thirty-two Jesuses
Vicious Tramp
Hello, everyone and welcome to the Sherman’s March to the Sea edition of the Cool Band Names list. Reader submissions are always welcome.
Assorted Mandys
Butter Lobby
Death Harvest
Foot Soldiers of the Pope
Illegal Feces
Left-handed Monkey
NASA and the Russians
Probable Anxiety
Sex Fries
Suspiciously White
Unintentional Smut
Wicked Mullet
