On Eight Belles and the gnashing of teeth

Despite my inclination as a lover of animals (in a strictly platonic sense, of course), I find it hard to get worked up about Eight Belles getting shipped off to the glue factory.

In fact, it’s surprising that this kind of thing doesn’t happen more often. What do you expect when an animal that weighs 1000 pounds or more is forced to run at top speed on little spindly-ass legs? If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns, as the saying goes.

But of course, the frenzied hordes at PETA have made Eight Belles a martyr for its cause (even though its spokesman cannot defend her position), calling for a ban on racetrack betting, saying the sport is “no better than dogfighting.” They’ve even condemned Hillary Clinton, calling her complicit in the horse’s death.

Yawn. All of that is ridiculous, course. My issue with horse racing is not because it’s allegedly barbaric. I dislike it simply because it’s boring. Watching a bunch of horses run around in a big circle is worse than watching paint dry. The most exciting two minutes in sports? How about the most over-hyped and anti-climactic?

Except when a horse dies, I guess.

17 Responses to “On Eight Belles and the gnashing of teeth”

  1. Steve Says:

    At least the folks who are into that shit, and probably shouldn’t be (because they can’t afford it), need to leave the house to watch it. Unless it’s the KD or likewise…I feel the same about televised poker. Big deal. It’s not my money; those people don’t need to be in my living room.

  2. Anonymous Communist Says:

    Oh, man… televised poker. At least horse racing is over in two minutes.

  3. Johann Says:

    Good call. Neither is worth watching.

  4. Your neighbor Says:

    Dude, we should start a horse fighting ring! That would be great. We can attach giant razor blades to their hoofs and spikes to their tails. Of course, unicorns would have an obvious advantage. We couldn’t allow them. Still, it just might work.

  5. Anonymous Communist Says:

    I think you’re onto something, Neighbor. Losers would then have to mount an electrified mare.

  6. Steve Says:

    Sparklehorse…

  7. allie Says:

    im a vegetarian, but i am NOT a PETA supporter. i agree with you, what do you expect when a horse works that hard in a short period of time. next thing we know, PETA will be telling us its not fair to have pets because they are not free enough or something. they are usually so outlandish in the way they present their messages, the masses they try to reach pay no attention. i like animals just fine, i also have many fond memories related to the Kentucky Derby. moral of the story, people just have to bitch about something.

  8. e.y. Says:

    Derby horse racing is like the NASCAR of animal sports.

  9. e.y. Says:

    damn vegeterians.

  10. Anonymous Communist Says:

    I have mad respect for vegetarians. I just can’t give up meat. It’s too tasty.

  11. Steve Says:

    Yeah, even those slaughterhouse images don’t sway me. A good friend of mine here invited me, along with a bunch of others, to help participate in a nut-cut at his parents’ farm in Nebraska, last weekend. I saw some pictures…maybe next year. Castrating cattle isn’t what bothered me about this fun-filled weekend. Camping on the property was involved, and the fact that rural Neb. is either cold, wet and rainy, or hot, dry and windy, is where I wussed out. Always wondered how vegetarians get by on all that rabbit food. Where are you guys getting your protein? Must eat a lot of beans…

  12. Anonymous Communist Says:

    I’m not sure I’d want to castrate cattle. I get queasy baiting a fish hook.

    Beans are the magical fruit, you know.

  13. e.y. Says:

    I like vegeterians, too. I just like stirring the pot. “people just have to bitch about something”

  14. Former Spartan Says:

    PETA is awesome. (Insert disclaimer here about not always agreeing with their tactics, blah, blah, blah.) It would be one thing if all these horses were all moseyin’ around the prairie grass just breaking their gosh darn ankles all the time, but horse racing is an artificial, man-made scenario. That’s why the horses always die. That being said, it’s not the worst thing in the world. What your average highly sentient pig has to endure with today’s factory farming practices is probably more of a tragedy.

  15. Steve Says:

    Uh-oh…someone must have watched another one of last season’s “This American Life” episodes, where they went to the pig farm. I knew that show would catch on.

  16. Anonymous Communist Says:

    RE: the pigs… I watched an episode of “Dirty Jobs” where the host had to artificially rape inseminate a pig. At least when they’re killed to make me delicious bacon and pork steaks, it’s over then.

    That rape scene was traumatizing.

  17. Former Spartan Says:

    One pig’s “rape” is another pig’s aggresive, highly erotic sexual encounter.

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