Parents just don’t understand
The Girl’s soccer lidlifter was this past weekend. Those of you who know me or who regularly read this Web log know I harbor a severe and unyielding prejudice against the sport.
My anti-soccer bias is one of my many shortcomings as a human being. But I am big enough not to pass along my prejudices to my children (except for my loathing of the Chicago National League Ball Club; some things are just too important), so I keep my yap shut around my kids when it comes to soccer.
I also keep my yap shut at the games. I wish I could say they same for the other parents. Some of them were a little enthusiastic with their “encouragement.” As soon as the whistle blew to start the game, some “adults” were screaming instructions from the sidelines, things like:
[redacted], get after the ball!
Get back! Get back! Get back!
Take the shot!
ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
I heard one mom say, out loud, how “stressed out” she was watching her kid play, in between embarrassing, asinine bleatings from the sideline. Her child, along with her child’s teammates, is SEVEN YEARS OLD. If a parent is going to get that worked up now, what’s it going to be like in later years when the games actually mean something? “Adults” were actually getting frustrated by what their child was doing or not doing on the pitch.
Here’s a friendly tip for all you overbearing soccer parents: Shut up and let your children play. It’s supposed to be fun for them. You screaming “instructions” or “encouragement” from the sidelines only causes embarrassment, for them and for yourself. Even though they’re only 7 years old, I’m pretty sure that they know they’re supposed to run after the ball and kick it and stuff.
Here’s another tip: Let Coach be Coach. It’s his/her job to do the instructing and encouraging, not yours. If you want to practice one on one with your child on your own time, fine. But once your little Beckham steps between the white lines, it’s Coach’s ballgame.
Gosh, I can’t wait for Game 2 on Saturday.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
How will your kids know you care if you don’t occasionally throw a whiskey bottle at a referee? Let’s see some spirit out there next time.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Maybe you should distract those parents by walking over to them and striking up a conversation. They’re probably Cardinals fans.
April 29th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I have to admit, I get pretty excited at my kids’ games. And I cheer. But I don’t try to coach and I don’t yell “It’s OK baby” when when my kids do something wrong. My favorites are the moms (why is it always the moms???) who totally throw off the concentration of their kids, by yelling from the stands/sidelines/seats “Just take your time and calm down. Calm down! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN NOW!!!!”
April 29th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Dan: I’m more of a gin man.
Steve: I think I’ve found a new way to irritate you.
Nancy: Cheering should be the only thing coming from the sidelines.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
You should volunteer to coach once they hit 10, it’d be awesome to see you putting some of those folks in their place. That’s when the games will start to get good and somewhat coherent and all, anyway. Can the parents in this age group get the card if they’re being assholes?
April 29th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I don’t know if parents can get carded. He has enough to deal with the coaches being on the field giving him shit.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Johann, I think you’re safe, man…
April 29th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
BURN!
April 30th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Stuff like that makes me extremely grateful that my parents weren’t really interested in my crap - they used to drop me off and either wait in the car or come back later when the event was over. That’s way less humiliating than a parent who’s way too involved. thanks, mom and dad!