The little-known 11th Commandment

“Thou shalt getteth thy freak on.”

In the latest in the long, storied history of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do megachurch leaders, the “archbishop” of a suburban Hotlanta congregation is getting Bill Clintoned:

An 80-year-old leader of a suburban megachurch who is at the center of a sex scandal has been charged with lying under oath for saying he had sex outside marriage with only one other woman, court documents show.

Apparently, one Earl Paulk of Cathedral of the Holy Spirit at Chapel Hill Harvester Church has been sticking his dick into all kinds of pudding for quite some time now. And one former church employee has had enough and is suing Paulk, his brother and the church:

…on allegations that Paulk manipulated (Mona Brewer) into an affair from 1989 to 2003 by telling her it was her only path to salvation.

I can only imagine that conversation:

Paulk: Oh, come on, baby… you know you want to. It’s, uh, God’s will. You want to go to heaven, don’t you?
Brewer: But I don’t recall seeing anywhere in the Bible that an extramarital affair is the path to salvation!
Paulk: (undressing) I think it’s somewhere near the back… Jesus wants me to get freaky with you tonight, baby! If you want, I’ll make you church organist! (winks)

While I understand that a preacher abusing his authority and trust in such fashion is despicable, but this affair went on for about 15 years. At what point does it cease to be “manipulation” and become a behavioral choice on the woman’s part? A person just doesn’t allow herself to be “manipulated” for so long without realizing what role she plays in the situation.

But wait… it gets better. A court-ordered paternity test has found that Paulk has carried on that great Southern tradition:

Paulk is the biological father of his brother’s son, D.E. Paulk, who is now head pastor at the church.

Awesome. The guy’s uncle is his dad, which was revealed in October. That must have been some Thanksgiving.

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