Anonymous Communist

After more than a decade of searching, in May I finally got myself a grown-up Schwinn.

It took that long basically because I was cheap, hoping that serendipity would strike a third time and drop another bike in my lap. It didn’t quite work out that way.

I was thus forced to shop “retail,” which for old Schwinns means eBay. Time and time again for several years, every bike I bid on I was outbid for. Sometimes it was for far more than I was willing to pay; other times I was outbid by some jerk at the last second for just a few bucks more than my last bid. I absolutely hate that, and I curse everyone who employs such tactics.

But I managed to luck out on this one, actually getting it for less than my max bid. Ha-ha, suckers!

My excitement from the enormous box arriving quickly turned to concern when the reality of the task ahead of me set in:

I actually had to put this bitch together. You’re familiar with the phrase “mechanically inclined”? Well, I’m mechanically straight. Thankfully, my friend Eric is quite handy with the tools and was within reach via cell phone, reassuring me that the task was not too tough.

Eventually, I got it together, and it hasn’t fallen apart yet. Knock-knock.

For a 40-year-old bike, it rides nice and smooth, and thanks to the hub, sometimes I ride slow and sometimes I ride quick. The yellow-band kickback hub is a two-speed “underdrive” model, and with a quick “kick back” with the pedals, it shifts to the lower gear to facilitate climbing. Another kick back, and you’re back in the cruising gear.

Besides the hub, this bike has lots of other fun accessories. I’ve yet to test out the front and rear racks, just because I prefer carrying a backpack on my erranding. The horn tank on the front of the bike is especially sharp:

The little button on the tank is supposed to be the bike’s horn. It doesn’t work, though, and as I mentioned above, I’m a little hesitant to open the tank to try to fix it. I’m hoping that all it needs is a battery, which is what the front headlight is missing, too. And given my propensity for nighttime beer runs, I ought to look into that.

Maybe I could get some rechargeables and then get one of these contraptions to juice the batteries back up during the day.