Anonymous Communist

I must give Johann credit: At least he’s willing to listen.

He’s as devoted a swimmer in the musical mainstream as one can be and has long considered what he can’t hear on the radio to be weird and scary. He has, however, often expressed a desire to expand his horizons, something that came to a head a few weeks ago. And I, the aging former hipster who thinks his taste in music is the cat’s ass, am glad to oblige.*

*The bulk of my music collection is made up of alt-rock and hip-hop from the late 1980s and early ’90s. Back then, I made no effort to hide my disdain for the Baby Boomer fucktards who lionized their Cool 101.9 puke to the exclusion of everything else. These days, I am one of those fucktards, only of the snarky, irrelevant Gen-X variety.

Sifting through 55 GB of music is a daunting task, especially when trying to expand someone’s horizons within the bounds of their preferences. So no thrashing guitars, a la Ministry, Slayer or Suicidal Tendencies. And no overly hardcore hip-hop, a la Public Enemy, Cypress Hill or Ice Cube. And no truly wonky stuff like Mercury Rev, Wesley Willis or Mogwai. And more difficult was trying to cull just a few tracks by artists or groups that I really liked — Ween, De La Soul or Tortoise.*

*I know Tortoise is sort of wonky too, but they are too awesome not to include.

So after several hours of cogitating my entire iTunes library, I had to force myself to stop. I ended up burning 9 CDs of just rock music, two volumes of which are entirely made up of Ween. I haven’t even begun to tackle the hip-hop, funk and jazz tracks.

Following is the first volume in the Songs for Johann series. I hope he enjoys them as much as I enjoyed patting myself on the back doing this for him. If you’d like to download the Zip file, let me know in the comments; I’ll e-mail you a link.

Songs for Johann, Vol. 1

• Alice in Chains, “Rooster”
• Backwards Day, “Revolutionary” — Backwards Day were my second-favorite band of Springfield’s original music scene of the late 1980s and early ’90s. They were fronted by Scott Faingold, with whom Johann went to Southeast. *makes hand gesture*
• Blur, “There’s No Other Way” — I never understood the whole Blur vs. Oasis thing, because Blur >>>>>>>>>>>>> Oasis.
• Blur, “Song 2″ — Of course.
• The Breeders, “Cannonball”
• Camper Van Beethoven, “Take the Skinheads Bowling”
• Camper Van Beethoven, “When I Win the Lottery”
• The Charlatans, “The Only One I Know” — The bass line is totally ripped off of Deep Purple’s “Hush.” But that’s OK; this song rocks, too.
• Cody ChesnuTT, “Bitch, I’m Broke” — This guy is like a cross between Marvin Gaye and old-school Ween.
• Cody ChesnuTT, “Look Good in Leather”
• Cornershop, “Brimful of Asha” — Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, indeed.
• Dead Kennedys, “Too Drunk to Fuck” — This is sort of an inside joke with my family. When I was younger, Johann and commenter Marjorie loved to give me a hard time about my taste in music. The circle is now complete.
• Descendents, “Enjoy” — There are better Descendents songs in my opinion, but if there’s anything Johann likes, it’s a good fart joke.
• Dub Narcotic Sound System, “Ridin’ Shotgun” — DNSS is a good funk band, but indie-rock legend Calvin Johnson is a horseshit singer: You either hate him or ignore him.
• Dub Narcotic Sound System, “Shake a Puddin’ “
• The Fall, “Mansion” — Mark E. Smith’s vocals also are an acquired taste. Fortunately, this is an instrumental track.
• The Farm, “Groovy Train”
• Fishbone, “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” — From their debut EP, back when they were more ska-oriented.
• Fishbone, “Bonin’ in the Boneyard” — Johann plays the bass guitar, and this track features John Norwood Fisher prominently on the funky ass bass.
• Foo Fighters, “I’ll Stick Around” — I always assumed that this song was about Courtney Love.
• Foo Fighters, “Everlong”