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Oh, look… it’s the Super Bowl

andyrooneyToday is Super Bowl Sunday, when the two best NFL teams play football in between commercial breaks.

For years, I’ve found the Super Bowl to be virtually unwatchable, too overly hyped for its own good. I know it’s naively cliche to say this, but it bugs me that the Super Bowl is an Entertainment Spectacular! instead of a sporting event.

Advertisers spend outrageous sums of money on commercials during the game, but the ads are exactly the same as they are any other time. They remain a vehicle to get stupid people to buy crap they don’t need.

And when has a Super Bowl halftime program ever been worth a shit? They’ve all pretty much been overwrought, overproduced garbage. And ever since Tittygate, it’s been a continuous stream of irrelevant dinosaur bands.

Of course, these all may be symptoms of my waning interest in football in general. I managed to finish second in my fantasy league this year despite watching a grand total of maybe 10 minutes of football the entire season.

I don’t really care about either team playing this year. I’ve seen Peyton Manning play enough that I know he’s awesome. And I don’t believe in the media-manufactured “storyline” of a sports team supposedly representing the hopes and dreams of a ravaged city. If the Saints win, New Orleans is not going to be magically reborn. It’s still going to be the same crime-ridden shithole it’s always been.

And yet, I will be going to a Super Bowl party this evening. Maybe I can just hang out by the food and the beer cooler.

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Sleeping on the iPad

ipad

After such a monumental buildup, it was impossible not to be let down at least a little bit by the unveiling of Apple’s horrifically named iPad.*

*Seriously, iPad is the worst name I’ve ever heard.

For me, the biggest letdown was the lack of content to showcase what the device could do. I’m on record as saying that the device could change the way we consume paper media, and I still believe that. But Wednesday’s announcement featured one two-minute demo of the New York Times’ native iPad app, which was neat but left a “That’s it?” taste in my mouth.

But I do think that, in the months leading up to the device’s release, we’ll get a better handle on exactly how much and what kind of content will be available as more publishers and other content providers get a handle on what the device can do.

And while some of its technical aspects seemingly fall short (no multitasking, no camera, little storage, etc.), the iPad is not something geared toward the average Windows Geek. Yes, it’s probably underpowered for the price (or overpriced for the power, if you prefer), but the average user is going to be more concerned with how it works than the means by which it works.

This device is basically an overgrown iPod Touch, best suited as a leisure-time reading/Internetting/gaming vehicle. It’s roughly the size of a magazine and would easily fit on a bedside or coffee table. And despite the iWork demos, the iPad isn’t something you’re going to be using for computing functions beyond Web surfing and e-mail.

It’s strictly a platform for the consumption (and purchase, perhaps more importantly) of media.

For more about the iPad, check out Endgadget’s iPad guide as well as the official site.

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In the recycling bin, permanently

Maybe you’ve heard. But if you haven’t, Apple is set to announce today its “latest creation,” rumored to be some sort of tablet-sized computing device.

I can’t help but wonder if this device will finally be the one that seals the doom of the printed page. Below could be just the beginning of what this rumored Apple Tablet might be able to do:

Sports Illustrated – Tablet Demo 1.5 from The Wonderfactory on Vimeo.

The mind reels at the possibilities this device could hold for other media. And really, if a device can do this, why would you ever pick up another static, paper-based information object ever again?

The Apple Tablet also could very well be the medium for the survival of publishing companies. Those companies, though, can no longer get away with just electronic copies of their paper product. They’ll have to utilize the capabilities of things like the Apple Tablet to add value to their online content so it’s worth paying money for.

I also have a few requests for this mythical device:

  • Don’t require 3G connectivity. It would be a shameless money grab to do so. I already pay to access AT&T’s 3G network with my phone. I won’t pay even more money for something I already have access to. This is the big dealbreaker, in my opinion.
  • Allow for removable batteries. If this device really is to be the ultimate media appliance (at least until the next Killer Device arrives), it’s going to be a battery hog, and even the best rechargeable batteries wear out and need replaced.
  • Let me plug in a keyboard. I’m pretty good at thumbing my phone’s virtual keyboard. This tablet, though, is supposed to be 10 inches wide, roughly the size of a standard keyboard. Virtual typing could get very messy.

That’s it. I’m a cheap date when it comes to Apple products.

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More fun with tilt-shift #photography

stlsky1

This batch of tilt-shift images was made with the Art&Mobile TiltShift Generator. You can use it via the Web or download it via AdobeAir. It’s a free application, but the effect isn’t as striking as it is when done with Photoshop. It’s good for experimenting with, though.

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Songs for Johann, Vol. 1: A-F

I must give Johann credit: At least he’s willing to listen.

He’s as devoted a swimmer in the musical mainstream as one can be and has long considered what he can’t hear on the radio to be weird and scary. He has, however, often expressed a desire to expand his horizons, something that came to a head a few weeks ago. And I, the aging former hipster who thinks his taste in music is the cat’s ass, am glad to oblige.*

*The bulk of my music collection is made up of alt-rock and hip-hop from the late 1980s and early ’90s. Back then, I made no effort to hide my disdain for the Baby Boomer fucktards who lionized their Cool 101.9 puke to the exclusion of everything else. These days, I am one of those fucktards, only of the snarky, irrelevant Gen-X variety.

Sifting through 55 GB of music is a daunting task, especially when trying to expand someone’s horizons within the bounds of their preferences. So no thrashing guitars, a la Ministry, Slayer or Suicidal Tendencies. And no overly hardcore hip-hop, a la Public Enemy, Cypress Hill or Ice Cube. And no truly wonky stuff like Mercury Rev, Wesley Willis or Mogwai. And more difficult was trying to cull just a few tracks by artists or groups that I really liked — Ween, De La Soul or Tortoise.*

*I know Tortoise is sort of wonky too, but they are too awesome not to include.

So after several hours of cogitating my entire iTunes library, I had to force myself to stop. I ended up burning 9 CDs of just rock music, two volumes of which are entirely made up of Ween. I haven’t even begun to tackle the hip-hop, funk and jazz tracks.

Following is the first volume in the Songs for Johann series. I hope he enjoys them as much as I enjoyed patting myself on the back doing this for him. If you’d like to download the Zip file, let me know in the comments; I’ll e-mail you a link.

Songs for Johann, Vol. 1

  • Alice in Chains, “Rooster”
  • Backwards Day, “Revolutionary” — Backwards Day were my second-favorite band of Springfield’s original music scene of the late 1980s and early ’90s. They were fronted by Scott Faingold, with whom Johann went to Southeast. *makes hand gesture*
  • Blur, “There’s No Other Way” — I never understood the whole Blur vs. Oasis thing, because Blur >>>>>>>>>>>>> Oasis.
  • Blur, “Song 2″ — Of course.
  • The Breeders, “Cannonball”
  • Camper Van Beethoven, “Take the Skinheads Bowling”
  • Camper Van Beethoven, “When I Win the Lottery”
  • The Charlatans, “The Only One I Know” — The bass line is totally ripped off of Deep Purple’s “Hush.” But that’s OK; this song rocks, too.
  • Cody ChesnuTT, “Bitch, I’m Broke” — This guy is like a cross between Marvin Gaye and old-school Ween.
  • Cody ChesnuTT, “Look Good in Leather”
  • Cornershop, “Brimful of Asha” — Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, indeed.
  • Dead Kennedys, “Too Drunk to Fuck” — This is sort of an inside joke with my family. When I was younger, Johann and commenter Marjorie loved to give me a hard time about my taste in music. The circle is now complete.
  • Descendents, “Enjoy” — There are better Descendents songs in my opinion, but if there’s anything Johann likes, it’s a good fart joke.
  • Dub Narcotic Sound System, “Ridin’ Shotgun” — DNSS is a good funk band, but indie-rock legend Calvin Johnson is a horseshit singer: You either hate him or ignore him.
  • Dub Narcotic Sound System, “Shake a Puddin’ “
  • The Fall, “Mansion” — Mark E. Smith’s vocals also are an acquired taste. Fortunately, this is an instrumental track.
  • The Farm, “Groovy Train”
  • Fishbone, “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” — From their debut EP, back when they were more ska-oriented.
  • Fishbone, “Bonin’ in the Boneyard” — Johann plays the bass guitar, and this track features John Norwood Fisher prominently on the funky ass bass.
  • Foo Fighters, “I’ll Stick Around” — I always assumed that this song was about Courtney Love.
  • Foo Fighters, “Everlong”
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Gowalla: All the cool kids are doing it

Thanks to Shoo, I have yet another way to further drain my phone’s already sketchy battery.

I’m talking about the Gowalla app for iPhone. The best I can figure out is that it’s some sort of iPhone-based scavenger hunt ~slash~ social networking site. Using the phone’s GPS, you “check in” to the places you visit — stores, restaurants, taverns, etc. You occasionally will find items to pick up at various spots, and you can leave items for others to pick up when they check in.

You can tweet your check-ins — which seems to irritate some folks — or post them to your Facebook.*

*Speaking of Facebook, Gowalla does seem an awful lot like those irritating games on Facebook that I recently railed against. I know, I know… I’m a complex dude.

World-famous* bloggers such as myself, Johann, Russ, the aforementioned Shoo and bluefox864 are but a few of the local Gowalla users. I actually ran into to Shoo at Ace Hardware a few minutes after checking in there last week, so Gowalla could be helpful if you want to stalk us world-famous** blogger types.

*not actually world-famous
**dude, seriously… not famous

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Nice try, GOP Alliance Twitter feed

Recently, I came across a tweet from something called The GOP Alliance:

Every presidential assassin has been a liberal, communist, anarchist, someone on the Left.

That word “every” is one of those red-flag words that set off my bullshit detector. Given my interest in history as well as my interest in debunking ridiculous claims made by ideologues, I decided to do a little research.

There have been four U.S. presidents who have been assassinated. They are, in chronological order: Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley and John F. Kennedy. Let’s start with our Hometown Hero.

Abraham Lincoln, killed by John Wilkes Booth

Lincoln was a Republican and Booth an actor, so of course Booth must have been a filthy Hollywood liberal, right? Not so fast.

The Republican Party of Lincoln’s time was the progressive (read: liberal) party in terms of human rights, with Our Abe winning re-election in 1864 by a landslide on a platform of abolition. Booth was a known Confederate sympathizer and an alleged member of the Knights of the Golden Circle, a secret society aimed not only at preserving slavery in the South (very much a conservative idea back then) but also exporting it to Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean by means of annexation (read: empire building).

Interesting fact: Booth is said to have shouted “Sic semper tyrannis!” (”Thus always to tyrants,” a reference to Brutus and the murder of Julius Caesar) after clapping his gat, if you will. Beloved right-wing figure Timothy McVeigh was wearing a shirt that read “Sic semper tyrannis” with a picture of Lincoln on it the day he was arrested.
Verdict: BULLSHIT.

James Garfield, killed by Charles “I’m Going to the Lordy” Guiteau

Guiteau, from Freeport, Ill.,  was your basic screw-up, having failed at about everything he tried: College, law practice, theology, et al. These failures probably stem from the likely fact that he was insane.

During the 1880 election campaign. Guiteau gave a series of speeches he’d originally written about Ulysses S. Grant but instead substituted Garfield in Grant’s place. After Garfield’s victory, Guiteau was convinced that he was responsible for Garfield’s election and repeatedly clamored for an ambassadorship. After being repeatedly rebuffed, Guiteau then killed Garfield.

I’m guessing that The GOP Alliance’s “liberal” claim with Guiteau stems from his having joined earlier in his life a religious sect that rejected monogamy. “Free love,” and all that. But it was insanity, not politics, that drove Guiteau to murder Garfield.
Verdict: LIKELY BULLSHIT

William McKinley, killed by Leon Czolgosz

I’ll give The GOP Alliance this one. Czolgosz was indeed an anarchist. But to be intellectually honest, you must admit that anarchists strive to take down all forms of government, whether headed by the right or left.
Verdict: TRUE

John F. Kennedy, killed by somebody

Every group under the sun has been accused of Kennedy’s assassination: the KGB (commies), Cuban expatriates (conservatives), the Teamsters (commies), J. Edgar Hoover (conservative), ad nauseum. But why is a group called The GOP Alliance concerned with who killed a Harvard-educated elitist liberal from Taxachusetts?
Verdict: ?????

~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|

Clearly, not “every presidential assassin” has been a horrifying, contemptible member of the “Left,” despite what The GOP Alliance wants you to believe. Anyone with an Internet connection and the intelligence to use a computer can discover this.

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My first attempt at tilt-shift fakery

Actual tilt-shift photography requires special lenses and knowledge of photographic principles, neither of which I have. But through the wonders of Photoshop (and this ridiculously easy tilt-shift tutorial), I can fake it reasonably well:

cooktilt9

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Oh! Christmas tree!

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(“O Tannenbaum,” Vince Guaraldi Trio)

So I’m getting more brazen in my attempts to post photographic “art” on this Webbed log. I don’t consider myself an “artist” or “photographer” by any stretch; I have no formal training in either nor do I really know how to operate a camera beyond pushing the shutter release.

But I do enjoy messing around, and below represents my attempt at messing around with “shutter painting,” a technique I learned about in this highly informative post linked from a photography Twitter feed I follow. I turned the flash off and took these photos of my Christmas tree as I moved the camera in various directions:

tree2

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What’s the point?

Guess in the comments where in Springfield this object is. First correct commenter gets 100 Internet dollars:

pointy

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