So I was doing a little research just now, trying to find some album artwork, when my travels took me to AllMusic. Imagine my surprise to see its Album of the Day:
The Brand New Heavies‘ “Heavy Rhyme Experience, Vol. 1″ is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of music: Two great tastes (rappers and a live funk band) that taste great together. If there’s any album that is right in my musical wheelhouse, it is this one. The only low points are the two tracks that feature dancehall MCs (one of them, Jamalski’s “Jump n Move,” was on the “Happy Feet” soundie a coupla years ago). The music on those tracks is good; I just can’t stand that style of rapping.
While this album did have a few of the Brand New Heavies’ Delicious Vinyl labelmates (e.g., the Pharcyde and Masta Ace), this was no mere promotional vehicle, as some of the off-label artists included Main Source, Black Sheep and Gang Starr, whose “It’s Getting Hectic” is playable below.
Unfortunately, the “Vol. 1″ verbiage in the album title is a misnomer, as nearly 17 years later there’s yet to be a second volume. Just think of the possibilities Vol. 2 could bring: You could have modern-day rappers like Mos Def, Blue Scholars and Common Sense as well as reunite groups like A Tribe Called Quest and Digable Planets. Whoever has that power, make it so.
Despite my inclination as a lover of animals (in a strictly platonic sense, of course), I find it hard to get worked up about Eight Belles getting shipped off to the glue factory.
In fact, it’s surprising that this kind of thing doesn’t happen more often. What do you expect when an animal that weighs 1000 pounds or more is forced to run at top speed on little spindly-ass legs? If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns, as the saying goes.
Yawn. All of that is ridiculous, course. My issue with horse racing is not because it’s allegedly barbaric. I dislike it simply because it’s boring. Watching a bunch of horses run around in a big circle is worse than watching paint dry. The most exciting two minutes in sports? How about the most over-hyped and anti-climactic?
In the last post, the comments got threadjacked into a discussion of the tastiness of Thai food. All that talk got me in the mood to get my nose running.
Unfortunately, my preferred purveyor of the Thai (which also was closest to my office) apparently has closed. So Monday night, I headed to Magic Kitchen’s second location (to which I mistakenly thought the MK had moved; thanks to Manx for clearing that up) on my dinner break.
I ordered the Garlic and White Pepper Pork in medium, my usual at Thai Kitch. To my mild dismay, I found that Magic Kitch didn’t make it with asparagus (and carrots!) as Thai Kitch did, but there seemed to be more meat. But as I usually found myself wanting more after finishing a Thai Kitch pile, I struggled to finish the final quarter or so of Magic Kitch’s. Maybe that’s why it was more expensive.
MK’s medium was more spicy than that of TK’s, to the point that I had to blow my nose twice after I was done, not that you wanted to know that. You know it’s good food when it makes your nose run.
And to make them a little homesick, I e-mailed the above picture I took with my phone to dear friends and noted AC commenters Eric and Steve, to which Eric replied:
think i may make that the backdrop on my iPhone
For all you fellow Magic Kitch fans out there, what are your faves dishes there?
Hello and welcome to the bitchin’ storm front edition of the Cool Band Names list. The current master list is close to running out, but fear not, dear readers. There’s a new list bursting with hundreds more names ready to bore and offend!
Big Steaming Pile
Chafed Taint
Decadent Culture
Fast Cow
Ghetto Fabulous
Invisible Sun, Invisible Sons (Police tribute band)
Love Rhombus
Mystery Doritos
Ph.D in Porn
Registered Pleasure
Shattered Rat
Stingray Barb
Undeserved Unhappiness
Unlimited Doohickies
There’s been an e-mail sweeping through Springfield inboxes the past couple of weeks, and Wednesday was my day to receive it.
The e-mail’s originator apparently was dissatisfied with the food and service she’d received from a local eatery and decided document her concerns to the owner (or manager; I’m not sure). While it was incredibly detailed, the e-mail plainly informed the owner/manager of the shortcomings of the food and service without malice.
The reply, on the other hand… Let me relay a few snippets:
I’m sure you yourself are not perfect in your occupation either.
[…]
You are the only one with a negative comment.
[…]
We try to predict and prepare for what business we receive, but it is impossible as we cannot read minds.
But wait, it gets better. The owner/manager, perhaps worked up into full raging lather, closes the e-mail thusly:
By the way, what is it that you do for a living? Perhaps I’ll use your services someday and send you a critique of how you did on one of your worst days of the year and see how much you appreciate my feedback.
Now obviously, this was the wrong way for the owner/manager to handle this. In the service industry, you never want to burn bridges with a customer, but the owner/manager here used an MX Missile topped with multiple, independently targeted re-entry vehicles on this particular bridge. Certainly it would have been better for the owner/manager to sit on the response overnight, cool off a little bit and then maybe consider a different, more measured response. It is my understanding that the owner/manager is something like 22 years old, and therefore lacks the experience and, well, the maturity to properly handle the situation.
But (and there’s always a “but”)… in the response, the owner/manager brings up a very valid point:
If you do not point out the problem at the time of service (i.e. the tuna burger) we cannot correct it.
This is 100 percent correct. To quietly stew about bad food and then complain after the fact smacks of passive-aggressiveness. The owner/manager’s snotty reply and the subsequent e-mail frenzy (and this shitty blog post) all could have been avoided had the customer brought to the attention of the staff while at the restaurant.
While the owner/manager never should have sent such a snotty reply, the customer also bears some responsibility for letting things get to that point.
The Girl’s soccer lidlifter was this past weekend. Those of you who know me or who regularly read this Web log know I harbor a severe and unyielding prejudice against the sport.
My anti-soccer bias is one of my many shortcomings as a human being. But I am big enough not to pass along my prejudices to my children (except for my loathing of the Chicago National League Ball Club; some things are just too important), so I keep my yap shut around my kids when it comes to soccer.
I also keep my yap shut at the games. I wish I could say they same for the other parents. Some of them were a little enthusiastic with their “encouragement.” As soon as the whistle blew to start the game, some “adults” were screaming instructions from the sidelines, things like:
[redacted], get after the ball!
Get back! Get back! Get back!
Take the shot!
ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
I heard one mom say, out loud, how “stressed out” she was watching her kid play, in between embarrassing, asinine bleatings from the sideline. Her child, along with her child’s teammates, is SEVEN YEARS OLD. If a parent is going to get that worked up now, what’s it going to be like in later years when the games actually mean something? “Adults” were actually getting frustrated by what their child was doing or not doing on the pitch.
Here’s a friendly tip for all you overbearing soccer parents: Shut up and let your children play. It’s supposed to be fun for them. You screaming “instructions” or “encouragement” from the sidelines only causes embarrassment, for them and for yourself. Even though they’re only 7 years old, I’m pretty sure that they know they’re supposed to run after the ball and kick it and stuff.
Here’s another tip: Let Coach be Coach. It’s his/her job to do the instructing and encouraging, not yours. If you want to practice one on one with your child on your own time, fine. But once your little Beckham steps between the white lines, it’s Coach’s ballgame.
Before we begin with Part 3, I’d like to include one song meant for Part 2 that I totally spaced. I had a “wrist” song and a “finger” song but totally forgot the “hand” song. So here is…
“Hand in Your Head,” Money Mark – Perhaps best known for his work with the Beastie Boys during the 1990s, Money Mark also has dropped several solo releases. This track originally appeared on his first solo LP, which was mostly just his voice, his multitudinous keyboards and a drum machine. The version you’re listening to is off his second full-length release, which featured an actual band: Mark on keyboards and vocals, Sean Lennon on guitar and bass, and Russell Simins (of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion) on drums.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Part 3 of Music from Head to Toe will include songs that reference the naughty bits. If you are offended by such words, then you’re probably not reading this Web log anyway, so suck it! As always, right-click to steal download.
“Monkey Hips and Rice,” Dub Narcotic Sound System – For some, the vocals of Calvin Johnson (formerly of Beat Happening and a founder of legendary indie label K Records) render Dub Narcotic unlistenable. I tolerate his “singing” only because I like the music so much. While this song isn’t their best example, DNSS’s whitey-funk can get you moving.
“Ms. Fat Booty,” Mos Def – Once considered the “little brother” of groups in the Native Tongues Posse, the multitalented Mos Def dropped his solo debut in 1999 on which this song appears. He’s also appeared in several movies (”Brown Sugar,” “Italian Job,” “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”) and will portray Chuck Berry in the upcoming “Cadillac Records.”
“Flies On My Dick,” Ween – As much as I enjoy Ween’s “White Pepper”-and-later era of more cohesive songwriting, I did become a Ween fan from their oddball, lo-fi and beautifully profane earlier work. “Flies On My Dick,” from 1992’s “Pure Guava,” has all those qualities in spades.
“Moist Vagina,” Nirvana – This song was released as the B-side to the “All Apologies” single from 1993. I can’t imagine why it wasn’t included on “In Utero.” Seriously, though… I think this is the perfect Nirvana song: soft/loud dynamics, AB song structure and minimal lyrics screamed repetitively. Plus, it’s called “Moist Vagina.”
“Pubic Enemy,” A Tribe Called Quest – Back in the late 1980s, many rappers cared enough about their listeners to remind them to always “pack the plastic,” if you will. “Pubic Enemy” describes the consequences of not wearing (or requiring Mr. Right Now to wear) a “Jimmy hat,” as it were:
Suddenly, she’s been distracted
By something that has been attracted
She poked and poked and smacked at it
Then she broke down and she scratched it
The original version appeared on ATCQ’s debut LP; this version is a remix that uses the bassline from “The Adventures of Super Rhyme.”
“Pink Eye (On My Leg),” Ween – I suppose this song could have worked for Part 1, too. If you have a dog(s), you might want to get them out of the room before you play this, lest they start barking, too.
“Eight Feet Under,” NIL8 – It really is a shame that NIL8 didn’t become a nationally known rock band. Beloved here in Springfield, NIL8 are well-known around the Midwest but couldn’t quite break through nationally. It wasn’t for a lack of effort on the band’s part, though. Shameless name-check alert: In high school, the rock band I was in had the good fortune to open for NIL8 on many occasions, including the 1992 Hobgoblinspookadelic at the Hilton, of all places.
Despite my inclination as a lover of animals (in a strictly platonic sense, of course), I find it hard to get worked up about Eight Belles getting shipped off to the glue factory.
In the last post, 
